There is no other way to describe the explosive passion between us… No other word to use but… Destiny.

Tinder. What a wonderful application, no? I had never dabbled in the Tinder world until April of last year. I was in Florida for Spring Break, and I was dying to go out for drinks… Or get on a boat. So I downloaded Tinder. Overload of really unattractive, but rich, men. With boats. I got a few offers for a date. But I’m shallow. And deleted the app within two nights. Fast forward to late August, early September. I’m stranded at my plug’s house, without my plug. I snagged a delivery job, but its basically paying for itself in gas only. I’m starving. I don’t even want a date. I just want someone to buy me food. Tinder. Yeah! So I download it again. Not quite the monetary value as one broke girl would hope, but potential here and there. Jack was one of the first one I matched with. He was inquisitive through a screen, asking questions, seeming genuinely interested. He was my second Tinder date. I only went on three. Jack became my friend rather quickly. I didn’t have anyone but one or two people to rely on down here… And he kept wanting to feed me. I loved being around him because he made me feel gorgeous…. Like he felt lucky to be around me. I haven’t felt that vibe from anyone in so long… I underappreciated his efforts in the beginning. But he never faltered in showing that he held a deep care for me even though we barely knew each other. His persistence in my self-care made me actually… care about myself. Even one ounce of care was more than what I moved away from home with. Jack made me feel like I was worth keeping around… Until the days we pushed each other away. Drugs and mental issues, especially combined, will destroy everything. I hope none of my readers have to feel the pain I did from our lowest lows… But at the same time, I can only hope that everyone receives the gift that was the love Jack showed me…

And I shall shout to heavens every first gust of wind that blows past the break of dawn-…

The Lord, he giveth… But he taketh away as well. He sent me an angel to earn, but it was the devil I kept company.

Instead of soothing his pain, I agitated him. Oh, LORD, how I wish I could try again… If I could just go back to those times when he was weak and fearful… I would not walk away. I’d embrace him; hold him until he breathed on my neck, calmly…

I’m not mad at you, Lord, for ripping that hunk of a man from my arms… We had plenty of warning to which we did not react soon enough.

And I don’t deserve him…

I’ll just bow my head in eternal gratitude. For I know, if only for a brief moment, what it felt like… to be truly loved.

Folks… Two addicts can’t fix each other. Tried it. Been there. Done that. If you are finding yourself in arguments more than embraces… If the drugs are the focus of your daily goals… If you are cracking within, you can’t support your loved one when they crack, too. Go get help now. Don’t wait.
You may lose the only thing you believed was saving you…