I had a realization the other day. 15 months of no sex. And for the first time in my life, I appreciate being sexless. The mere thought of interacting with men gives me the heebie jeebies. I used to base my whole self worth on sex. I used to care if men found me attractive. […]
Thought I’d stop by the blog to commemorate the fact that I’ve made in one year clean from meth and other hard drugs. Considering the last four or so years of my life I’ve struggled with addiction- especially to meth… and strung together only 7ish months of consecutive clean time before my last fall… I […]
It is about time I get some heavy shit off of my chest. I know it has been a while since I’ve last posted. And honestly I don’t care if one person reads this – I just have to let these thoughts go somewhere besides the repetitious loop of my head. This is going to […]
Depression. Its plugging up your laptop to write it out and not touching it until a week later. Its isolating yourself from your favorite people due to fear of rejection. Am I annoying them with my sadness? Am I bothering them? Do they even really like me? Am I going to disappoint them by not […]
Working at a production plant, my restless brain wanders. These are some notes I wrote while at work.
Basically I’m at a crossroads in my life. I’m sober and trying to stay sober every day. I need happiness – and these are my wonders of how to obtain it.
In summary, I’m clueless.
April 10, 2020 I’m 95 days clean and told I’ve begun to come alive. I began today wondering if I’m simply on this “pink cloud” people speak of… And if I am, when is it going to pop? I do feel a change within myself; I’m being more positive, which is a major first. The […]
March 8, 2020 I want to talk about how I feel, but words are difficult to comprise. All I know for sure are the visions playing on repeat- projected on the back of my eyelids. Memories of my sickly, malnourished body with wishes of looking that way again. Even though my face was sore-ridden and […]
Diaries of a Former Meth Whore. 